Communicating During Crisis
In cases of emergency, we understand it may feel difficult to stay calm and ask soft questions to keep a student talking until intervention from Fullmind, a parent, mental health professional, or a law enforcement representative arrives. Here are some tips and communication techniques to support you if you ever face this situation.
Dialog with a Student in Crisis
“Hello student name. At Fullmind, we’re trained to pick up on signs of when a student is in crisis. It seems like you might be in crisis and I am here for you. (Introduce yourself if you’re a new face for the student, then proceed.)
Why don't you tell me a little bit about what is going on (Wait for answer from student. Ask soft questions.)
"When did you begin feeling like this?"
"Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?"
"How can I best support you right now?"
"Have you thought about getting help?
“Let’s come up with a plan together to see what we can do to help you to stop feeling like this. (It is very important to be honest with the student and let them know what is happening and what is going to happen).
Fullmind is contacting your school right now to let them know about how you are feeling. We also need to get in touch with a parent/ guardian. It is important you have all the support you can get right now. Is there a parent or guardian home with you? It is important you tell them what is going on with you right away because nobody deserves to feel like this.“
*Do not end the class until the correct parties are able to take responsibility
Soft Questioning
Best when used with students while help is arriving and you are assessing the situation to gather information to share with professionals and the family.
Questions you can ask:
- "When did you begin feeling like this?"
- "Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?"
- "How can I best support you right now?"
- "Have you thought about getting help?
What you can say that helps:
- "You are not alone in this. I’m here for you."
- "You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change."
- "I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help."
- "When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold off for just one more day, hour, minute—whatever you can manage."
When Talking to a Student with Suicidal Ideations
Do:
- Be yourself. Let the person know you care, that he/she is not alone. The right words are often unimportant. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it.
- Listen. Let the suicidal person unload despair, vent anger. No matter how negative the conversation seems, the fact that it exists is a positive sign.
- Be sympathetic, non-judgmental, patient, calm, accepting. Your friend or family member is doing the right thing by talking about his/her feelings.
- Offer hope. Reassure the person that help is available and that the suicidal feelings are temporary. Let the person know that his or her life is important to you.
- Take the person seriously. If the person says things like, “I’m so depressed, I can’t go on,” ask: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” You are not putting ideas in their head, you are showing that you are concerned, that you take them seriously, and that it’s OK for them to share their pain with you.
But Do Not:
- Argue with the suicidal person. Avoid saying things like: "You have so much to live for," "Your suicide will hurt your family," or “Look on the bright side.”
- Act shocked, lecture on the value of life, or say that suicide is wrong.
- Promise confidentiality. Refuse to be sworn to secrecy. A life is at stake and you may need to speak to a mental health professional in order to keep the suicidal person safe. If you promise to keep your discussions secret, you may have to break your word.
- Offer ways to fix their problems, or give advice, or make them feel like they have to justify their suicidal feelings. It is not about how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting your friend or loved one.
- Blame yourself. You can’t “fix” someone’s depression. Your loved one’s happiness, or lack thereof, is not your responsibility.
References
American School Counselor Association. Ethical Standards for School Counselors. American School Counselor Association, n.d. Web. 24 April 2010.
http://www.counselors.k12.sd.us/ethics.html
https://www.schoolcounselor.org/school-counselors-members/legal-ethical
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention.htm